I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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