The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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