Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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