Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
