yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize