So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize