So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
