I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
