oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
