I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
