I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
