so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
