I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
