U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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