She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
