I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
pop tarts are not kleenex
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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