I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I need to stop coming to work sober
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
