I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
