it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize