just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
