I look better un-naked...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize