That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize