Quick, to the slutcave!
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
