Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
