marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
