Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
