How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
