He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
