I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i've created a new STD.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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