Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Everyone says I win the strip club
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
