So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
