I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize