I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
