he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
