remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
