well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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