If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
