My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
nutella sex= disaster
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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