Kiss
Puke
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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