I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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