new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
