i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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