It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
