I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
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