what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
