and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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