just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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