I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
