I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
