on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
