she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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