glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize