I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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