A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
