Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
