I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
