Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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