She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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