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tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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