i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she smelled like a LAN party
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Randomize
