I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
that's an acceptable place to lick
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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