i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
There r osticjed everywhere
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
