Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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