This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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