I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I have so many feelings about this burrito
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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