So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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