I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
