Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
