dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize