road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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