And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
My day in three words: secret purse cake
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
